Remembering and reflecting: where I've been

It's been quite a while since I blogged semi-regularly. It's been so long that Blogger has come up with all sorts of cool new features since I last did anything but a quick post. It's also been a long time since I was active in the world of blogs. There are a few I keep up with sporadically, but I rarely comment. I have no idea what new controversy has everyone's knickers in a twist in what used to be my corner of the blogosphere. I am utterly and completely out of the loop. For all I know, some new wacky teacher may have arisen and convinced the gullible that patriarchy -- true, Biblical patriarchy!!! -- requires living in tents or that the reason men don't have concubines today is all the result of some vast feminist conspiracy.

I miss some of the people in that world, but I don't miss that world. It feels good to be free of it.

A lot has happened in my life and in the life of my family since those days. Life and death stuff, or I should say, near-death stuff. Crises. Heartbreak the likes of which no one should ever have to suffer. Anguish. Dark nights of the soul. But also incredible joy in the midst of that sorrow.

In other words, real life. Real nitty, gritty life.

When life gets that in-your-face overwhelmingly real, despite all the chaos and confusion that might ensue for a season, some things become really clear. You re-examine a lot when you're treading through deep waters. You begin to realize what and whom -- and Whom -- you can grab onto for safety and what and whom will only pull you down further. You realize who you can go to with your burdens...those who will weep with you and rejoice with you...those who will hold your darkest secret heartaches as sacred trusts...those who will walk with you through the darkest valleys.

There aren't many of those sorts of people.

Years ago, back in the day, I remember an online discussion of homeschooling mothers during which one brave soul dared mention a minor issue she was having with her teenage daughter. This girl was no longer content to play "Little House on the Prairie" and read Elsie Dinsmore for the 20th time; she wanted more out of life; she longed to do something that made a difference and was exciting at the same time. A number of the other moms, who only had young children, tore into this mother and her daughter. You would have thought this girl had announced, "I want to be a harlot" and that the mother had answered, "Whatever you want, dear, is fine with me; let me buy you some harlot clothes" -- that's how these other moms carried on. They gave advice that this girl's "rebellious spirit" needed to be rebuked and punished, that the mother shouldn't listen to her nonsense, that both were in sin, etc., etc.

Needless to say, these are not the sort of people you turn to in a crisis.

A few years went by, but it was still back in the day, when the son of a homeschooling family died under unfortunate and disturbing circumstances. The parents decided to alert other families to what had happened, so that others might be spared their tragedy. I was horrified at the lack of empathy, at the other callousness, in which some in the online world responded. There was much holier-than-thou shooting of the wounded.

Needless to say, these are not the sort of people you turn to in a crisis.

More than one mother, way back in my days of writing about my concerns regarding the Ezzos' teachings, insisted that they had the whole parenting thing down and would never have to deal with any problems because their one-year-old was already "characterized by first-time obedience".

Needless to say, these are not the sort of people you turn to in a crisis.

Also, back in the day, there were certain online teachers, some of them leaders in their own churches, who thrived on controversy, who loved to declare their authority over anyone who commented on their blogs, who sounded convinced that they held a special corner on doctrinal correctness, and who loved to argue until they didn't have the upper hand, in which case they banned people from their blogs.

Needless to say, these are not the sort of people you turn to in a crisis.

In May of this year, I went to a retreat. It was my second year going. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. When my mother heard of my plans, she asked with some trepidation, "Is this the same retreat you went to last year? the one with the...troubled people?"

It's always after the fact that I think of what I should have said. In this case, I should have said, "Yes, that one...because I am one of those troubled people." 

Jesus said, "In this world, you will have trouble..." Some people are just more honest and open about their trouble than others. Some people know what it is like to be broken, wounded, and lost. Some people know what it means to find joy after sorrow. Some people aren't afraid of messes. Some people will let you grieve in ways that wouldn't look pretty in a movie, and they will sit with you in your pain, without condemnation. Some people know the joy of finding hope after despair, and they share it with you. Some people will walk with you as you try to find your way out of the darkness, out of the deep waters, and they will carry you when you are tired. Some people are like beacons in the night. Some people will give you permission to fall apart if need be. Some people will let you be real, as real as real can be, without any pretense, without any self-protection, and their complete and total loving acceptance of you will be like a healing balm to your soul. Some people will love you so much and so obviously that they earn the right to speak painful truth into your life, and they will do it with tears in their eyes. Some people will, with a hug and some whispered words, give you hope to sustain and encourage you for another year.

There aren't very many of those people, but I've been blessed beyond words to have found some.

Needless to say, those are the sort of people you turn to in a crisis.

And they are also the sort of people you turn to during times of joy and laughter, because they will celebrate with you like no one else will. They totally get the "rejoice with those who rejoice" part because they already have the weeping part down.

When I grow up, I want to be that sort of person.


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Not your typical speaker at church

I thought this was the funniest promo video for a church guest speaker I've ever seen. Let me know what you think.

Speaking the truth in love

Seem familiar?

Assumptions of gluttony

Read previous post for context.

Even though, in most cases, obesity can be prevented or reversed by healthy eating and by exercise or physical work, I think it is wrong to assume, just by looking at an obese person, that he is a lazy glutton, given to excess eating and inactivity.

If we don't know this person, we will most likely be entirely right about what made him obese in the first place, but we shouldn't assume that he has not already repented from this lifestyle. For example, take the picture that started the obesity discussion on the Bayly Blog. It's impossible to ignore that the man on the right is quite obese and seems pleased, even proud of the fact. He seems delighted to point out his resemblance to a pregnant woman. His condition --- which would be alarming if we had not already become so used to seeing obese men in our culture --- has gone way beyond a "few extra pounds" or a "little flab around the middle" that we might be able to blame on stress or joyous feasting with family over the holidays. His situation, like that of way too many others, is far more grave and serious than that.

However, it is wrong, if we don't know this man and his history, to assume that he is currently still overeating and not exercising and/or working enough. When we see people in his condition, we don't always know what they were like some months back. For instance, I recently met a woman who is obese but who is also, at least for the past six months or so, one of the hardest working, most sensible eaters I've ever met. No one would guess it to look at her --- unless they had seen what she looked like six months ago.

In our culture, we often get criticized for making assumptions based on people's appearances. To some extent, it can be wrong, judgmental, and prejudicial. But, in other cases, we do it all the time. One of my sons, for example, is a very hard worker. It is obvious to almost everyone who meets him. His body is that of a man well experienced with good, old-fashioned, masculine labor. No one with a lick of sense could look at him and wrongly assume him to be some sort of typical teenager huddled in his room playing video games all day. In fact, people who meet him often ask me, "What kind of work does he do?" and then they nod, with an "Of course!" when they hear my answer.

I teach martial arts. When people walk into the dojo, I'm usually not surprised to discover, once they join our class, how well they can or can't handle the physical effort required, or how willing they are to work hard. Hard work and exercise has an entirely different impact on our bodies --- and their appearance --- than does a soft, easy lifestyle involving minimal effort. As one of my students asked me early on, "If I was already working hard, do you think I would look like this?"

One of the things I like about what I do is that I get to see formerly self-described lazy people "get off their duff" and leave their sedentary ways behind. Although I don't stress nutrition as much as I probably should, it's always rewarding to see my students realize that, if they are going to work hard, they need to start giving their bodies healthier "fuel".

Hard work has a way of transforming us.

In all my life, I've never met one obese person who got that way while eating sensibly and working hard. Gluttony and laziness were significant lifestyle factors, which the more candid and forthright ones readily admitted.

I believe that God designed our bodies for hard work. Male bodies, especially, are designed for streneous physical labor. Those masculine muscles were put there for a purpose. What is sad to me is that too many men in our culture have become soft, indulgent, and lazy. Even worse, they are unashamed of this, and try to act as if it is the way that men should be.

Some time back, I hard an overweight young guy criticize his girlfriend for putting on some weight. "Girls are supposed to be skinny," he said, "and guys are supposed to be big." Big being, of course, a polite way of saying overweight, flabby, and out of shape. I pointed out that, no, actually women were supposed to have a higher body fat percentage than men. It's one of the ways God designed us. Men were supposed to be relatively lean and muscled. Those that work hard enough and eat sensibly enough usually are.

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Gluttony?

Those of you who have read this blog for any length of time know that I have been quite candid about my own struggle with gluttony. And, yes, it's an uncomfortable and extremely unpopular topic to talk about.

I've been a skinny glutton, with a high metabolism that kept me from gaining weight.

And I've also been a...well, less-than-skinny glutton.

So I don't equate gluttony with being overweight or being obese. I also know that "overweight" is a loaded term, and one that can be difficult to define. According to one medical weight chart, I am currently, at 130 pounds, overweight for my age, height, and frame size. I could make excuses, insist that I am healthy at this weight, etc., etc. but I know the real truth: I am at this weight because I've been eating too much and not exercising as much as I should, especially over the holidays.

For some people of approximately my size, 130 pounds would be a wonderful weight. The weight chart says I should be at around 115 - 120. I know that, at this stage in my life, I don't want to drop that many pounds. But I do know that I can't use that as an excuse to indulge my appetites.

Some people are so afraid of legalism that they would simply throw up their hands in disgust at this entire post. Others will no doubt quote the Scripture about "physical exercise profiting little" as a rebuke to me, suggesting that it would be far more godly for me to be a couch potato and do little or nothing to prevent/forestall my genetic ticking time bomb of diabetes, heart disease, cancer, obesity, and osteoporosis.

But I am too grateful for the gift God has entrusted in my care: my physical body. Oh, it's quite plain, boring and used up by contemporary standards, but it has been a blessing to me. It has borne six children. It is the tool I use to enable me to serve God in my daily life. Why should I not take care of it as my way of thanking God? Why should I not be a good steward of my health?

Besides, the Bible is clear that gluttony is a sin, modern ideas to the contrary. Binge eating is not cool. Eating like a pig is not a sign of healthy masculinity. Pretending it's more gluttonous to be health-conscious and watch what one eats than it is to eat everything in sight is...plain goofy.

Being overweight or obese is not a sin. But the way that most of us get there is. Yes, there are some people who will always be "overweight" though fit and healthy. But obesity is a different matter. Yes, in a few cases, there are medical conditions that prevent a person from losing weight, no matter how hard they work out or how carefully they eat. But that is far from common.

There has been a big brouhaha over on the Bayly Blog about obesity. I know one of the parties that has weighed in. (Haha...poor attempt at humor there.) I think it's interesting that some people are so afraid to admit that, in most cases, obesity is easily preventable and is caused directly by two things: eating too much and not moving enough. But I guess it's horribly judgmental to say that. Horribly judgmental to think that men who show off how fat they are maybe, just maybe should be ashamed rather than proud...not necessarily ashamed for being fat, but for what they almost certainly had to do (eat too much and work too little) to get that way.

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The masculinization of the church, part 5

For background, see Part 1, and the other posts in the series.

According to organizations like "Church for Men" and "GodMen", and a growing number of men who like to flatter themselves by claiming that they are "Biblical partriarchs" instead of just ordinary Christian guys, the big problem with the church in America is that it is feminized. Frankly, their arguments have never made much logical sense to me. For the most part, it is a lot of hysteria, a lot of whining, and a lot of childish silliness with some paranoia mixed in. A man can't simply say he doesn't like pews, or that church pews have outlived their usefulness, or even that church pews were a bad idea to begin with --- if he is one of the hysterical or whiny "blame it all on the women" types, he has to insist that church pews are a sign of the feminization of the church!

Back in the 50's and 60's, conspiracy theorists loved to shout that the communists were taking over everything. Today, in a growing number of evangelical fringe groups, they love to shout that the feminists are taking over everything. (I actually happen to know some real feminists --- as in, they self-describe themselves as such and are very well read on the subject --- and they think these guys are hilariously misinformed. But that's for another series of posts --- and another writer.)

Certainly it is true that many churches are no longer as extremely male-dominated as they were a generation ago in our our country. Today, in a number of churches, women are not confined to children's Sunday School, the kitchen and the "missionary circle" as the only way of being involved in church "ministry". A growing number of male church leaders are willing to act on the belief that women, as well as men, are capable of receiving the Holy Spirit, and that spiritual giftings for women can include more than mercy and helps.

It is also true that many churches in American are filled with more women than men. But, then again, there were more women followers of Jesus who were there at the Cross, and His women followers were the first ones there at the Tomb after He arose...

It is also true that there are churches that have fallen into heresy and that some --- but certainly not all or even most --- of these heresies involve expressions of feminist spirituality.

But all that being true hardly means that we need to run around like Chicken Little and scream shrilly that the feminists are taking over the church. Unless, of course, we are those men who operate with a very simple paradigm:

Feminine = bad
Masculine = good

That is what is really behind all of this hysteria about the church being too feminized. No one is arguing that the church was too male-dominated, too masculinized, and that this feminization is providing a healthy balance. No one is arguing that the church should reflect all of its members, male and female. Instead, those who believe that the church is becoming feminized see this as a bad thing, an extremely bad thing.

The problem with the church, they say, is that it is not masculine enough. Because, of course, being masculine is good. Being feminine isn't. It is as if men need less redeeming than women, as if their masculine natures are either less fallen or more easily redeemed. And one cannot help but wonder if, in their worldview, women are ever truly redeemed. Being feminine is seen as somehow more fallen, less able to be be an image bearer of God, less able to be led by the Holy Spirit, less able to be empowered by Him for His glory.

What is good about our culture and about the church is therefore seen as being masculine. What is bad and weak about our culture and the church is seen as being feminine.

Of course, this means that the proponents of the "church should be masculine" view sometimes have to make some great leaps of logic. As a commenter on this blog pointed out, referring to an article on the Bayly's blog, "I was especially amused to read the phrase, speaking of the Bride of Christ, 'she has been emasculated.'"

Yes, it is amusing.

But it is also sad. To say nothing of the fact that this view demeans the very image of God.

And it misses the point.

The problem with the church in America is not that there are too many women in church. It is not that the male leadership is not masculine enough. It is not that, to quote one disgusting article, there are "girly-men in the pulpit". The problem is not a lack of testosterone.

It's a lack of Jesus.

So, yes, I don't really believe that the problem with the church is that it is too masculine. I think the problem with the church is that it reflects its human self-proclaimed leaders (who are usually male) more than it reflects its Head. I was using a certain amount of irony to make some important points.

But I am also quite convinced of a truly radical notion that I have: that women are called to be --- and can be --- just as Christlike as men. Even more wild and crazy, I believe that when God declared His creation of male and female as good, He meant that even femininity was good. Call me a heretical simpleton for taking Scripture so literally, but there you have it.

And the solution to the problem with the church in American? Ah...well, that's the subject of a whole 'nuther series...

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Old folks & life experience

When we're young, immature, and inexperienced, we tend not to value those things that we don't think we need. One of those is life experience.

Back in my single days, I worked for a specialized employment agency. I would interview lots of college grads who, despite their lack of work experience, would grow almost angry that I couldn't place them with any of our client companies. "Our clients want us to provide them with experienced people," I would explain, only to have the interviewee argue with me about how work experience wasn't necessary.

One time I actually read out loud the job description for the position one young grad was applying for and asked, point by point, "Have you actually done this?"

"Well, no," was the answer, "but it shouldn't really matter. Here, let me show you my college transcript. I got excellent grades!"

"That's wonderful, and I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding work elsewhere, but our clients want someone who has actual experience and who already possesses these important skills. Otherwise, you won't be able to do this particular job. It's not a trainee position."

I had more than one college grad throw a bit of a tizzy fit at me for not letting them interview with the prospective employer. They thought I was being unreasonable. They were convinced that they knew more than I did! Their knowledge and their diploma, they told me again and again, was far more valuable than work experience --- why couldn't I see that?

A number of our clients specifically asked us that we not ever send them anyone "fresh out of school". The lack of experience, coupled with a youthful arrogance, made for poor employees --- or at least that's what I was told over and over.

Often, when we don't know much about a particular thing, we tend to think that thing is much simpler than it really is. We tend to think we know more about it than we do. That's where the expression, "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing", comes from. Or, as an old friend of mine used to say, "I was too stupid to know how stupid I was."

There are some things you simply cannot learn from a book, or from observing others. It is always unwise to attempt to teach something we ourselves have never actually done.

Unfortunately, when we old folks try to explain this to young folks, the young 'uns often don't get it. They think they know more than they do. They have no experience, so they don't value the experience of others.

Many of us more experienced parents will often joke that we were "parenting experts" before we had children, but now we realize how little we know! My sister-in-law was once rebuked for her choice in strollers by a man who told her haughtily, "I am a parenting expert." When asked how many children he had raised, he had to confess that he didn't have any children --- but that didn't matter! He was an expert because he had written several books!

Lack of experience doesn't stop some people from giving advice. I've actually been given breastfeeding advice by bottle-feeders and homeschooling advice by public schoolers! While I've listened politely, I've often had to suppress the urge to giggle at how silly their advice was. They literally had no idea what they were talking about, but they were so sure of themselves.

And now, egged on by the internet and a culture that values youth over experience, we have children thinking that they can give marriage advice. Sigh...we have children thinking that we old folks are doing such a terrible job in following Jesus that the children need to step in and take over.

The only thing we can hope for these brash young things is that they become teachable very quickly. Some people only learn from painful experience. May these zealous youth be humble enough to learn from every day experience, lest God have to discipline them more severely.

This post, along with my entire blog, is copyrighted. Please read and honor the copyright notice on the bottom of this page. Thank you.

Young whippersnappers & whippersnapperettes

I was reading Internet Monk recently and ran across a wonderful comment. Unfortunately, I can't copy it here this morning because the website seems down. But it, and some conversations I've had recently online and in the real world, did get me to thinking.

There are two growing trends I've observed in Christian circles over the past few years. While they may seem polar opposites, I suddenly realized they are really stemming from the same source. See if these sound familiar to you:

1. The very young pastor or youth pastor who delights in his in-your-face, stick-it-to-the-man approach to church life. No matter what anyone says, he is going to sport his wild tattoos, piercings, and odd hair, and he's going to shake things up by using obscene language in church, showing R-rated movies, and doing whatever he can to offend the sensibilities of just about anyone older than him. He simply won't listen to his elders because they are...well, old! Even worse, they are fuddy-duds, culturally irrelevant, and don't know what they are talking about.

2. The even younger girl who delights in her know-it-all approach to godly womanhood, even though she has not yet achieved womanhood herself. She loves to expound on blogs, in self-published newsletters and books --- anywhere she can --- about how older women are sinning by not doing what she thinks they should be doing. She loves to quote Titus 2:3-5 and sometimes even will go so far as to claim that she is an "older woman" who is called to teach even younger girls. However, that will not stop her from refusing to listen to anyone who disagrees with her, no matter their age, nor will any Scripture or anyone convince her that perhaps she needs to be learning at this stage in her life, rather than trying to teach what she doesn't yet know. She simply won't listen to her elders because they are...well, old! Even worse, they are fuddy-duds, probably feminists, worldly, and don't know what they are talking about.

It's really the same basic sinful attitude. On the one hand, it's very blatant and rebellious looking. On the other hand, it's hidden behind a sweet facade. But the pride and arrogance, the delight in telling off one's elders, is unmistakable, whether the language is profane or pseudo-polite.

Recently I encountered the blog of a young 15 year old. She is definitely a good writer, and I'm sure she has heard this many times. Like many young teenagers being raised in this age of self-esteem and encouraged free expression, she seems to think that the world is eagerly awaiting her "wisdom" on any number of topics. She actually solicits questions from her audience and seems to think she is capable of teaching anyone, of any age, about how to be a homemaker, how to be a good wife, etc.

Several of us have been both concerned and somewhat amused over her excessive arrogance and pride. I would point you to her blog to read for yourselves but, frankly, I don't want to encourage her any further.

She may be an extreme example, but unfortunately, she is not alone. Even worse, some of us adults are guilty of fostering and even provoking this sort of attitude and behavior among children and youth. It starts when we smile, chuckle, and allow them to expound on topics they know nothing about when they are tiny. "Why, you're right!" we find ourselves saying. We forget to add, "But it's really not your place to tell your father how to drive, especially since all you've ever driven is a tricycle." What seems cute for a toddler grows into a prideful, know-it-all sort of attitude, where a child becomes puffed up with what they think is some sort of superior knowledge and wisdom. They mock experience as being irrelevant. After all, they have READ THE BIBLE! And, why, just this past year, they READ A WONDERFUL BOOK THAT CHANGED THEIR MINDS! And besides, older women are all feminists!

When this one child began rebuking her elders for being in sin, because she believes the Bible commands a woman to be a homemaker only, and never to add any other activity to her homemaking, lest she cease to be a homemaker --- and when she refused to listen to the most polite entreaties and cautions coming from her elders --- I felt it was time to take off the gloves, so to speak.

So I wrote the following comment, knowing full well that she might never post it, and also knowing full well that it that she would not have ears to hear. But I believe that we who are really older women have a duty to let children know when their arrogance and pride have made them become disrespectful to their elders, and when these children are usurping a role that God never gave them. There is a reason that God, in His Word, urges us not to give new converts or the immature roles of prominence. So I wrote:

My dear young girl, perhaps I need to speak more bluntly with you because it is obvious that my words of warning to you fell on deaf ears, as have the words of others.

God inspired the author of Titus 2:3-5 to write those words, did He not? And you are how old, fifteen?

You are obviously not an "aged woman" or even, by any stretch of the imagination, an older woman. God has not asked you to attempt to teach anyone anything. God, in fact, commands that you respect those that are older, especially those with grey hair.

He has wisely ordained that older women are to teach younger women the very things that you are attempting to expound, very dogmatically, here on your blog. You are out of line. God never anywhere in His word suggested that precocious young girls, no matter how clever and bold they are, no matter how cute and sweet, no matter how full of themselves they are, no matter whether or not they are good mommy's helpers and homemakers-in-training, should ever be expounding on homemaking, loving husbands, or the ways of godly women to anyone. You, my dear, should be sitting at the feet of older women, and learning from them in all meekness and quietness and reverence. Your role, at this stage in your very young life, is not to exhort and edify. It is to learn. It is to be exhorted and edified.

Frankly, I fear for you. Talk about the Word of God being blasphemed!

Normally I do not speak so harshly to children, but it is obvious that you did not listen to others who have warned you in much milder terms. Please repent. Let the older women teach. Do not usurp their role. Live about 30 more years, and then --- should you have proven yourself --- God may want to use you in this way.

I followed this up with another comment:

From Titus 2:

1 But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: 2 that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; 3 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
6 Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, 7 in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, 8 sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.
9 Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, 10 not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.

While we all know, of course, that the topic headings in our Bibles are not part of the inspired Word of God, it is interesting that a number of Bibles head this passage with something along the lines of, "Duties of younger and older". This passage is addressed, as is the entire epistle, to Titus, so we can't pretend that it gives each one of us carte blanche to usurp a teaching and/or admonishing role that is not ours.

It is interesting to note that no role is given to children in this passage. The young women mentioned are assumed to be adult women, with husbands and homes. It is the responsibility of the older women to set a godly standard of behavior and to teach the younger women, both in example and in word.

The young women are to apply those lessons in their own lives. They are not given a teaching role.

The children aren't even mentioned.

I realize that I'm way over the hill. Times have changed. I know. I know. I'm not sure that this comment, or my previous one, will ever be posted. I addressed my previous one to young Rebekah, because I felt it was my duty as an older woman. Now I'd like to issue a caution to the women who have read and commented on this blog.

My fourth child is Rebekah's age. He is quite the capable fellow. He has skills and abilities that not that many grown men possess. In fact, he is sometimes pressed into service by men who need his help. Because of the way in which we are raising him, he would never presume to tell a grown man what to do. I've warned all of our children that, as the Bible says, "Knowledge puffs up." He offers his physical help in a humble way and knows when to keep his mouth shut. He is respectful.

Back in my day, in the circles in which I traveled, there was not this huge emphasis on self-esteem. Children weren't encouraged to express themselves freely. Children were taught their "place". We were expected to respect adults.

Today, people think it's "cute" when their tot is a backseat driver or when little Melissa or Buford tells an adult how to do something. I never did think it was cute. But even if it is cute when a little tot lisps out a Bible verse and utters her precocious interpretation of it to adults, it has long ceased to be cute by the time she is 15 and has the --- why mince words here --- arrogance and outrageous gall to rebuke her elders for sinning.

We could try to set her straight. But I really don't think Rebekah is respectful enough, humble enough, mature enough, or teachable enough to listen. I think we are wasting our time.

What we should not do is humor a little girl who sets up a blog and solicits questions --- as if she has answers at her inexperienced and unfinished age! We should not tolerate her and the many others like her who presume to take on a teaching role and then claim coyly, "All I did was quote a few verses!"

We should not give girls like this an audience. In a sound church, they would not have an audience. In another 30 years, perhaps Rebekah will have something to say to younger women, something borne out of her own walk with the Lord.

Right now, all she has is her blog. Being able to write does not make one worthy of an audience. Let's not encourage her in usurping the role of older women and in her ongoing disrespect for God's Word and for God's people.

Of course, what do I know? I'm horribly old-fashioned and I've long outgrown the arrogance of youth, when I thought I knew it all!

Am I saying we have nothing to learn from young children? No. I learn from my children all the time! But they do not presume to think that they are my teachers. They do not set up blogs and solicit questions, as if they were some sort of experts on things that they themselves have never experienced. My capable 15 year old, for example, does not presume to tell men how to be truly manly, how to manage career and family, or how to be a good husband and father. He has opinions on those topics, sure, but he knows enough --- and respects enough --- not to set himself up as a teacher of the very people he should be learning from. And he certainly knows enough not to rebuke his elders for sinning when they disagree with his interpretation of Scripture.

Youthful zeal is a good thing. Youthful pride is not. God withstands the proud. Let's be sure we are not encouraging them.

Edited to remove sentences that indicated my comments had not been posted, since they have since appeared on the blog in question.

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The masculinization of the church, part 4

Numerous men have told me over the years, in person, in sermons, in articles, in books, in blog posts and emails, that men NEED a certain amount of power and respect in order to "feel like men". Apparently, masculinity is all about being in authority, and femininity is all about being under authority. Men NEED to lead; women NEED to follow. At least that's what I keep being told.

So, as men have masculinized the church, turning into an organization where they will feel more comfortable and at home, and remaking it in their own image, the church has become all about power and control.

I read about one church where the men on the "Leadership Team" were adamant that no women ever, ever be allowed on this board. The pastor, however, was frustrated that there were not enough qualified male leaders, and that the women with leadership capabilities were not being allowed to minister. It began to occur to him that perhaps the men were so eager to "lead" (as in, exercise authority over others) that they had forgotten they were supposed to be serving the church. So he announced a major restructuring of the church board. In actuality, all he did was rename the "Leadership Team", while retaining its same function. At the next board meeting, he handed out the new board description. The men read it in silence for a few minutes, and then began protesting. "Why are there no women on this proposed 'Servant Team'?" one demanded. "Why is it that the men are supposed to do all the serving?" "Why don't the women have to do any of the work?" "What happened to the Leadership Team?"

Men sometimes like to call themselves "servant leaders". They like to say that they "serve by leading". What that usually means is, "I serve you by exercising authority over you in a kinder, gentler way than a selfish tyrant would." But the emphasis is still on exercising authority, and on being the "boss".

Jesus had a different idea.

Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave..."

We like to remind ourselves that, if we are the "boss", we shouldn't "lord it over" those under our authority. What we like to conveniently forget is that Jesus didn't seem to be recommending the idea of exercising authority as something we are supposed to be doing, even if we try to pretend we're doing it with a "servant heart".

But, in the masculinized church, we are all concerned with authority, with control, with power, and with all those things that no real slave should even be trying to exercise.

How far the church has come from what God intended!

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The masculinization of the church, part 3

For background, see Part 1.

Men, or so I've been told by many of them, like to fix things. They also like to organize things. In addition, they like to know who is in charge. Women, or so I've been told by many men, may like these things also, but not to the degree that men do. In fact, some men argue that these are not wants, but NEEDS. If there is a problem, a man NEEDS to fix it. If there something going on, a man NEEDS to organize it. If there is a project, or a group of people, or any sort of situation, a man NEEDS to know who is in charge.

The church, unfortunately, has been masculinized because of this. What started out as an extremely loosely structured group of believers in the New Testament quickly became highly structured, organized, and hierarchical.

But I think it's only getting worse.

A few examples:

1. Men will sometimes see problems where none really exist and then rush in to "fix" them. For example, rather than being concerned about the lack of discipleship and spiritual growth going on in a typical church, the male leadership will tend to convince themselves that the real problem is that the youth group is "too small". In order to "fix" this problem, all sorts of programs are suggested for implementation, ranging from hiring a new, more dynamic and exciting youth pastor, to building a youth building, to buying an expensive new turnkey multimedia youth curriculum, to having rock concerts, etc., etc.

2. Pastors will worry that the small groups they started as a means of fostering deeper fellowship are working all too well, and will insist that all small groups be disbanded and reformed every six or twelve months, so that no one becomes too "close".

3. Male leadership will endlessly worry over who is in charge. Countless hours will be wasted in numerous board committees arguing over such ridiculous things as "Well, who is really in charge of making sure the day care center is locked up after another group uses it? Is that the janitor's job? The christian ed director's job? The trustee committee's job?"

4. "But who will be in charge?" will become one of the first responses whenever anything is suggested, even if it is as simple as making sure a kleenex box is available at the front of the church. One woman I know brought up the idea of having family fellowship dinners. She was required to write up a proposal, which apparently was discussed by the elders for almost a year. Finally they told her they couldn't find a suitable person to "be in charge" of such an undertaking. In many churches, prayer groups are frowned upon unless an elder or staff person is in charge. Women can't just meet in a home to have fellowship and pray together unless they have a "covering", i.e. a man who will exercise authority over them. Someone always has to be in charge, and it has to be someone who meets the approval of the male leadership of the church.

5. Structure, organization, and programs become far more important than relationships. I even heard of one pastor who searched online for a "fellowship program" that he could implement in his church! Finally he decided that a certain cell group curriculum would be effective in bringing about healthier fellowship. The idea of simply...well, forming relationships? loving one another? everyone functioning as a member of the Body? Who would be in charge? How could this be done without a program? In another small church, after the leadership board refused to buy a $5,000 program designed to teach people to greet visitors in a friendly manner, the pastor spend months designing his own program. It was so highly structured as to be baffling. "Greeters" were told where to stand, exactly what words to say, how to show a visitor to a seat in the sanctuary, how to walk, etc. The instructions were so complex and took so many pages that one person asked in dismay, "How can I ever memorize all this so that I'll be sure that I'm doing it right?" One woman distilled the program into, "Smile. Be friendly. Let Jesus love this person through you. Introduce him/her to others. Make him/her feel comfortable and welcome." But that's the feminized version, of course!

I have to admit that I am growing more baffled as I grow older. Isn't the church supposed to be a family? Why don't we act as one, instead of as a corporation, a social club, or some sort of organization? Why has the church become a business?

The sad truth is that many men don't fully understand the family either. I've read and heard many men who like to say, for example, that the husband is the CEO, the wife the plant manager, and the children employees-in-training. Either that, or the husband is the Captain, the wife is the first mate, and the children are all sailors. It doesn't matter that the Bible never gives these sorts of analogies. Men like them. It doesn't matter that, in the world, CEO's are forbidden from having sexual relations with plant managers, as this would be seen as a horrible misuse of power. Apparently this is a good thing in the corporate model of marriage.

Lord, save us from our families becoming masculinized. Let our families be the right blend of masculine and feminine, just as you intended. Let us not pretend to be businesses or sports teams or military units.

Lord, save us from masculinized churches. Let us be Your family, Your Body, Your bride.

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How to serve God

How are we supposed to serve God? What best glorifies Him and advances His Kingdom? Is it dropping Easter Eggs out of airplanes in some mad frenzy or is it this?

Somehow I don't think that a man who refuses to repudiate his faith in the face of 150 people urging him strongly to do so, who goes door to door sharing the gospel in a hostile environment and sees 45 come to faith that first day, would ever utter the words, "What we received was a strong slap of the Heavenly pimp hand", but maybe that's just my own silly opinion. Apparently I'm just a hypocrite for thinking it might be a bit unseemly to refer to our great and wonderful God as a pimp. Either that, or I'm way behind the times. Obviously so, since I'm not a big fan of over-the-top egg drops either.

Read both links and let me know what you think.

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The masculinization of the church, part 2

For background, see Part 1.

As a woman, when I read the Bible, I tend to see it describe the church as a family, where we are all brothers and sisters in Christ, where we are to treat one another as family members. I also see the church as the Body of Christ, and I am in awe of the deep mystery of that. As a woman, I am especially moved by the idea of the church being the Bride of Christ.

Too many men, however, want to structure the church as a business and this has been, in my opinion, one of the most serious problems with the masculinization of the church in American today. (See my first post on this topic.)

Another way in which the church has been dangerously masculinized, at least in my opinion, is the way in which politics have invaded the church. Too many decisions are not made prayerfully. Even worse, too many men see offices in the church as being something akin to political offices, to be pursued much in the same way that one pursues political gain out in the world.

This first became obvious to me back when I was early in my pregnancy with Child #3 and our church was considering calling a man to be our new pastor. My husband and I had some concerns about this man. We feared that he was rather liberal in his interpretation of Scripture. But worse --- especially to me as an admittedly emotional pregnant woman --- was that he was still proud of the fact that he had worked hard to help make abortion legal in the state of New York years ago.

It was hard for me not to take it quite personally when he told me to my face that he could not be sure that life had really begun for the child I was carrying in my womb.

A number of people in the church knew that my husband (who was a deacon/elder at the time) and I would obviously not be in favor of this man pastoring our church. So the campaigning, mostly via numerous phone calls to our home, began. Finally it all escalated until, only an hour or so before the congregational vote was supposed to take place, one of the church staff members drew me aside and told me, quite sternly, that I was not to vote "no" for this man. If I couldn't vote "yes" --- which was my duty to preserve the unity of the church --- then I would have to abstain from voting. But he forbid me to vote "no". I looked him in the eye, completely unmoved by his intimidation tactics, and said quietly but firmly, "Do not tell me how to vote. I hope you are not doing this to other people. Stop."

In the churchy equivalent of ballot box stuffing, those who supported this new candidate for pastor had been busily calling everyone who was still on the active membership rolls but hadn't been to the church in months, if not about a year, to show up and vote "yes". The church was packed. Rousing political speeches were made. The new pastor was voted in, over my husband's publicly voiced concerns. Many of the speeches said that what our church really needed was an "administrator". His theology and his pro-abortion stance weren't so important; after all, he was "teachable". (I didn't see why it was our responsibility to "teach" a pastor in his 50's --- weren't we calling him to teach us?)

Since then, in other churches, I've seen men wage political campaigns for the offices of elder and deacon. I've heard pastors defend putting men on leadership boards out of political expediency, even though these men were unqualified to hold church office. I've seen grasping for power.

Politics have invaded the church. Actually, it has not been an invasion. It has been yet another example of men wanting to recreate the church into something that is more in their image. It is yet another example of the masculinization of the church.

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The masculinization of the church, part 1

This may become an on-again, off-again series...but then again, it may not.

In some circles, men are practically gnashing their teeth over what they term the "feminization" of the church. These men, of course, view this as a bad thing because, in general, they have a low view of femininity. Frankly, I've never quite bought into their argument about the church in American being "too feminine" and this supposedly being the root of all its ills.

Recently I was discussing this with someone, who pointed out, "But the real problem is that the church has become far too masculinized --- men are treating it as a business, rather than as a family or as the Body of Christ!"

That was, for me, one of those, "well, duh...!" moments. Yes, of course, I thought. That explains it.

Someone else told me, also very recently, about a special meeting called at his church. It seems that his church had reached a crisis point of no longer being able to sustain itself financially due to dwindling attendance. The meeting was spent exploring solutions: marketing strategies, campaigns, special events, etc. It sounded to me just like...well, like a business meeting of a secular organization. It also sounded all too familiar. I've been to those sorts of meetings. In fact, in more recent years, I've been to way too many of them.

Once, I sat through a church meeting that was supposedly about the "new church vision". Most of the meeting, however, was taken up by showing us samples of the types of advertising and marketing the church leadership was considering. The pastor was proposing that tens of thousands of dollars be spent, by a small church, on mailings, DVDs (not of sermons but of clever "commercials" for the church) and gimmicky gifts such as bibs, pens, hats, etc. featuring the name and clever new logo of the church.

I've heard about pastors --- and actually met one --- who prefer to call themselves by a more business-oriented title, such as CEO or administrator or lead teacher. Anything but pastor...

I've read books and articles about church leadership that sounded just like the sort of stuff I used to read when I was part of the corporate world.

In fact, the business model of church growth and management is rampant in American today.

Call me hopelessly feminine, but I think it's wrong. I think it is more than wrong --- I think it is dangerously misguided. It is, in my opinion, the most serious symptom of the grave problem of the masculinization of the church.

It is, of course, entirely understandable that men would want to change the church into something that is familiar and comfortable to them. It is also understandable that they would want to take control, that they would want to remake the church into their own image --- as if it was their creation and their body --- and would want to define and take credit for its "growth".

But it's wrong.

The church belongs to Jesus Christ. It is His Body. It's not a commercial enterprise or a business entity. The Bible never describes it as such. We are family, we are united as members of His Body. We are not officers, managers, and employees of a business.

Jesus is the one who builds His Church.

He did not tell us to wage great marketing campaigns for Him. He told us to make disciples. Clever advertising and church growth strategies are not the way to fulfill the Great Commission.

Missing in all of this --- at least to my feminine way of thinking --- is prayer and a reliance on the Holy Spirit to do His work. My admittedly feminine approach to dwindling church numbers would be to open God's Word and ask, "How did He add to the church back in the beginning, when there were so few of them?" And then we would get on our knees, on our very faces, before Him. First we would come in repentance for all that we've done personally to get in the way of His work, the many ways we had brought shame to him and caused strife within His Body. We'd repent of our lack of love for each other and for those outside of His Body. We'd plead with Him to change us. Then we would pray on behalf of His church. We would plead with Him for revival, first in our hearts and then in the hearts of others. We would ask Him to make us bold in sharing the gospel. We would ask Him to build His church. We would ask Him to equip us for every good work, and to send us out into the harvest. We'd plead with Him to guide and direct us.

And we'd keep doing that.

In the meantime, we'd look to His Word to see what else the church is supposed to be doing. We would love one another. We would tend to the widows and orphans. We would feed and clothe the hungry, visit the prisoners, care for the sick, pray for one another, preach the gospel in season and out of season, teach our children, and make disciples. Most of all, we would worship God in spirit and in truth. We would love Him with all that we had, and we would pray for the ability to love Him more.

Yes, I know. Way too feminine. Unrealistic. Behind the times. I know. I know.

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Christian discourse 2

There are those, such as Tim Bayly and his friends, who decry what they term the "feminization of discourse". They seem to believe that God has a different standard for speech and writing when it comes to men and women. I have, of course, never heard them back up this claim with Scripture. However, when a male is taken to task for rudeness, they will usually insist that he is only speaking as a Christian male should. Supposedly it is feminism that has made us unwilling to admire male speech that is unkind, rough, denigrating, and rude.

I will freely admit that the verses in James about bridling the tongue have not been easy ones for me to live out in obedience. Some struggle in this area more than others. I am one that struggles, although my friends and family, those who know me best, have told me that God has achieved great victory in my life in this area.

Because of recent events, and because I take rebukes of my speech and writings so to heart, I have been reading what the Bible says on the topic:

"The wise in heart will be called understanding, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness." Proverbs 16:21

"He who loves purity of heart and whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend." Proverbs 22:11

"But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth." Colossians 3:8

"Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person." Colossians 4:6

While the above verses, I would argue, are neither pink nor blue, the following one is definitely blue, being specifically addressed to the men:

"Likewise urge the young men to be sensible; in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us." Titus 2:6-8

Wouldn't it be wonderful if some of the blogs most concerned with gender roles would take the above passage very much to heart? Or are they too busy with the women-specific Titus Two verses, that they have failed to notice the verses addressed to them specifically?

If we are to become more and more Christ-like, shouldn't this be said about us:

"All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips. 'Isn't this Joseph's son?' they asked. Luke 4:22

Why is it that "gracious" is a term that we tend to apply only to women, as in, "She is such a gracious woman", and yet we rarely --- at least not today --- would say, "What a gracious gentleman!"

"Words from a wise man's mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips." Ecclesiastes 10:12

Then, of course, I could not neglect to add this Scripture to the list, one that I was encouraged to memorize as a child and one that I had Eldest Son memorize: "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." Proverbs 10:19

Help me out, readers: where are the Biblical guidelines for masculine speech versus feminine speech? Where does the Bible tell men that the above verses are all really pink verses?

And, since everyone knows that the average woman talks far more than the average man, can I assume that Proverbs 10:19 could not possibly be a pink verse? After all, God's design for women includes us being more verbal!

Widows and kitchen wives

For background, read here.

I was really thankful for the following comments from Tim Bayly, because they sparked a wonderful impromptu Bible Study and discussion this morning. I had written, in the context of serving God being our highest calling, that:

Even the heathen can be kitchen wives.

Tim quoted this and then said:

Yes, and the woman who doesn't provide for her own is worse than a pagan: "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5:8).

Of course, I took this to mean that he was referring to Carolyn Custis James since, after all, she was under discussion and several had taken issue with her statement that she was not a "kitchen wife". (See here.)

I found this particular application of 1 Timothy 5:8 to be quite novel. More about that later. Tim finished his comments with:

Orthodoxy without orthopraxy is unbelief. And for women as for men, orthopraxy is defined by God in His Word according to one's sexuality. In other words, we can't obey God's calling to each of us while denying the part of His calling that has particular application to us as man or woman. This is the heart of this discussion, but the one thing Rebecca and her feminist sisterhood will never quite address. Somehow, it always seems to get lost in the shuffle.

But in the Bible, it's at the center of New Testament ethics. None of this docetic, gnostic, disembodied, non-incarnate, transcendent, larger-than-life, gender-neutered, asexual gobbledygook for the Apostles. Oh no.

Rather, gender-specific words, gender-specific commands, gender-specific actions...

Well...yes and no.

The center of New Testament ethics? I have never, ever heard it put that way before. Usually I have heard the center of NT ethics defined as loving God with all our being and loving our neighbor as ourselves --- without any mention of our sexuality.

At any rate, it seems obvious to me that not every command is gender-specific. We cannot go through our Bibles and mark every command with either pink or blue ink, much as some people (sadly, myself included when I feel particularly weak or overwhelmed) might like to do so. "Love your enemies" --- is that pink or blue? Isn't it enough for my husband to obey it without me having to struggle with that one as well? What about "Love one another"? What about "Pray without ceasing"? What about "Put on the full armor of God"? When I obey "Pray without ceasing", do I get to do it in a different, feminine sort of way? Do I get some sort of pass on "be strong and courageous" because I'm a weaker vessel?

One of my former pastors actually met some wives who claimed that they didn't have to love their husbands. After all, the Bible said, "Husbands, love your wives." Women did not have that sort of a command. Yes, older women were to teach younger women how to love their husbands, but there was never a command anywhere that wives had to apply these lessons.

"What about 'love your neighbor as yourself'?" asked the pastor. The women looked at him as if he'd taken leave of his senses.

"Prove to us," they said, "that this is addressed to women. In the context, there is no indication that women were the audience. We are not feminists and we don't believe in claiming that everything written to men applies to us."

Apparently they saw a lot more gender-specific commands and actions than I do.

But on to what, unless I am reading him incorrectly, is Tim Bayly's assertion that not being a kitchen wife means one is not providing for one's own. When I asked my husband what he thought this verse meant (without prejudicing him with Tim's new interpretation/application) he --- as I should have known he would --- encouraged us all to read it in context. I'd like to encourage everyone to do the same. We read 1 Timothy 5:3-16, although it might be helpful to read the wider context as well.

We were very convicted, especially since we have widows in our extended family. While none of them are homeless and starving, what does God require of us? What would honor Him? Do we truly share His passion for justice and mercy?

At the end of our wonderful discussion, that also included some broader applications of what it meant to provide for one's family, I asked my husband if he thought this might apply to a woman who did not do the cooking for her family. (I explained that, to my knowledge, no one was starving due to her lack of cooking; obviously they were all eating food cooked by someone.) I wish I'd had my camera with me to snap the incredulous look on his face. He actually thought this was yet another example of my bizarre sense of humor!

"Did you really get that out of the passage?" he asked.

Um, no...but I tend to be rather simple at times, and rather concrete in my thinking. However, I've heard a pretty good number of sermons on that passage, and none of them have ever applied the passage in the way that Tim Bayly did. I'm not saying he's wrong; I'm just saying that this is a new application to me and raises a lot of questions. Unfortunately, those questions are not ones that he wants to see asked on his blog.

Someday I'll have it all figured out...

...but today I'll freely admit that I have a long way to go.

This is going to be one of those uncomfortable, self-disclosure sort of posts. Those who know me well have no doubt noticed that, to put it bluntly, joy has not been evident in any sort of abundance in my life for some time now. So what to do?

It just turns out that the pastor in the church we're attending has been preaching through a series on joy. They have been good sermons for the most part, but something has seemed to be missing. At any rate, try as I might, I just couldn't work up any joy in my life, no matter how I went over my notes and tried to apply them.

I'm not talking about happiness. It's not like I've spent the last few years walking around in some sort of permanent funk, without laughing or smiling. I'm talking about joy --- real joy --- the "restore unto me the joy of my salvation" sort of joy. It has just somehow left me.

Last Sunday I had the awesome privilege of visiting Eldest Son's church. I even got to hear him preach/teach. Wow. What a great group of people.

Another self-disclosure: I'm not the warm and fuzzy sort. I don't make instant friends. In fact, in new situations, I tend towards the stand-offish. I'm kind of lacking in the social skills department, and I tend to be awkward and shy around people I don't know.

When the little church service started, I felt immediately at home. It's not because this church was "familiar", or from my particular church background, or anything like that. It was something else, something far more subtle and yet profoundly powerful. It became so obvious to me that we were very much connected, very much a part of each other just as we were a part of the greater Body of Christ.

I was home --- as we all should be whenever we gather with our brothers and sisters in Christ. But it has been a very, very long time since I had felt that sense of home.

And then they prayed for me.

Forgive me if I don't describe the whole wonderful prayer time. (I will say this: while we were praying for someone else, I became thankful for the Asian tradition of removing one's shoes. I truly felt as if we were on holy ground and was glad I was already unshod.) But the part that fits in with this post is that at least one person felt led to pray that God would give me joy.

After more prayer and a time of fellowship with food, I left feeling loved, not just by my precious Savior and my loving Father, but by people that I felt as if I'd known forever. And then...well, hours went on. I had a great afternoon ended with a delicious dinner with some of my favorite people. My daughter and I drove home. And all this time, it became increasingly obvious to me that something was different.

It was joy.

And here's the thing I've been trying to figure out: why, as the modern American church, do we content ourselves with sermons that are little more than self-help lectures based on Scripture, and largely ignore the sort of simple prayer ministry that resulted in God so powerfully touching my life? Why do we expect mental solutions to spiritual problems? Why are we so unwilling to invite the Holy Spirit into our lives? Why do we point people in so many different directions, but forget to point them to Jesus?

Today, admitting that I don't have all the answers --- that I probably have only the smallest fraction of the answers --- I'd encourage my readers to consider what I'm beginning to think about finding the perfect church. Maybe, just maybe, what I really need is not a particular theology, not a particular church culture and practice, and certainly not another set of new and faddish programs (whether it's the latest Rick Warren fad or the less trendy but still faddish "Family Integrated Church" program). Maybe what I really need is a bunch of people who, while being committed to God's Word, are deeply committed to praying for one another. Maybe I need the sort of people who will unashamedly invite newcomers in their midsts to be prayed over and blessed. Maybe I need to find people who realize that a big part of prayer is listening. Maybe that's what is really important --- and the other stuff is just distraction and window dressing.

Maybe it is really is all about Jesus, and about being His Body and His Bride.

Good laugh --- but all too true

I found this hilarious video via the TrueWomanhood Blog. Unfortunately, there is way too much truth in it!




This was a good reminder to me that we need to use true Biblical discernment --- and not sensationalism, hysteria, poor logic, and a lack of integrity --- whenever we examine the teaching and practices of those who profess to be Christian. Discernment is surely lacking in the American church today, and it is something that we need to seek after. By the way, this video would make a great exercise for homeschoolers: see how many logical fallacies you can identify!

Updated to add the following:

Apparently the church responsible for the above video has a number of other humorous videos. I thought this one was just as funny.

Thoughts on racism (part 11)

[To read the entire series, click on "racism" on the sidebar under "POSTS BY CATEGORIES".]

Eldest Son recently attended a prayer meeting where he was the only "white" person there --- every other person was Asian in heritage. His descriptions of the passion that his fellow Believers brought to intercessory prayer made me so thankful that he is worshiping with believers outside of just his narrow ethnic and social boundaries. As I told him, the wonderful thing about fellowshipping cross-culturally is that we are able to see Jesus a bit more clearly, without our own cultural baggage --- baggage that we are usually incapable of realizing that we carry.

As the Body of Christ, what unites us is Jesus Himself. Culture and race should never divide us. Yes, there is something of great value in hearing the message of salvation in our "heart language", in being able to pray and fellowship in our native tongue. But there is something wildly freeing about stepping outside of our culture, outside of our race, and seeing Jesus as we've never seen Him before.

I fear that my words are woefully inadequate in expressing what I mean. Input, anyone? I'd love to hear about your experiences of cross-cultural church and christian fellowship.

Edited slightly for clarity.

The ideal church

If you could have church be anything you wanted it to be, what would your ideal church be like? Would it be pipe organs and stained glass windows in a breath-taking cathedral? Would it be a small group of people sitting around a fire at the beach? Would it focus on preaching? on prayer? on worship? on discipleship? What would be the core beliefs of your ideal church? What sort of people would be part of it? How big would that church be?

What is church to you?

I'm beginning to formulate some ideas that are new to me. I'd love to hear yours. And, if you are already part of your ideal church, let me know where it is!

Epiphany

I have a confession to make: years ago, I introduced the celebration of Epiphany into our family for all the wrong reasons.

Let me try to defend myself. In my husband's perfect world, I would decorate the house for Christmas as a birthday present for him, in October, at least a week before Halloween (which we don't celebrate, by the way). Then I'd leave the tree and all the decorations up....forever. Instead, each year in the real world, when it was time to pack everything up, he would become grumpy and complaining. He would enlist the kids in his attempts to make me feel like some sort of horrid grinch who was destroying Christmas by insisting that the decorations be gone sometime in January.

So then I came up with the idea of softening the blow of packing everything away by celebrating Epiphany. We would have a delicious feast, enjoy the last of the Christmas goodies and music, have a time of family worship centered on the theme of Epiphany, and then pack everything away.

It worked out well for some years. Then, one year, my husband complained, "Why do you insist on ruining my celebration of Epiphany by packing away the Christmas stuff?"

I'm beginning to suspect that this could lead to us having an Epiphany celebration followed, days later, by some sort of made-up household holiday, which I would then be accused of ruining by insisting we pack everything away. But if we didn't have the "holiday" and just tried to pack stuff away like normal people, there would be complaints about that!

Sigh. I can't win.

Yesterday's celebration of Epiphany was wonderful. And, yes, the tree, lights, and all the decorations are still up. Somewhat on the spur of the moment, we invited some new friends to join us for a mid-afternoon dinner. Only Daughter and I then rushed out to plan and shop for said dinner, and then dashed back home to prepare the simple feast. We set the tables and waited eagerly for our guests to arrive.

After dinner, the younger boys all went out to play and have mysterious boy adventures, while the rest of us sat by the fire, enjoyed good strong coffee, and opened our hearts to each other. I've been thinking a lot about Christian fellowship lately, and about what it means to be part of the Body of Christ. This was part of the theme of our conversation. One of the odd things about Christianity struck me during our wonderful visit. As followers of Christ, we can be wounded, suffering, grieving, discouraged --- and yet rejoicing at the same time. It all has to do with looking at Jesus, with sharing in His sufferings, with yielding to Him.

I wish I could say that I always did that. But I'm in awe of those who have every reason for bitterness, every reason to be angry, every reason to wallow in self-pity --- and yet do not fall prey to any of that.

My grandfather used to say that it was a good thing for every Christian to suffer heartbreak, that it was the only way for us to become compassionate.

I wish our walk with Jesus was not so fraught with pain. But I am thankful for a Savior Who came to bind up the broken-hearted, and I am thankful for friends in whose lives He shines forth.

And I am thankful for the Church, for His Body. Yesterday afternoon and evening was not an official "church meeting". But there were more than two or three of us, and we were gathered in His Name, and He was there. And it was wonderful.