For the whole story, read this, beginning with Part 1. The condensed version can be found in Part 6. Links to the entire series can be found on the blog sidebar.
What has happened in the eight years since my fall to grace?
It has been an interesting journey. In fact, in many ways, it has been quite an adventure. Along the way, I've discovered several things:
1. Walking in the Spirit, or by the Spirit, is a day by day sort of thing. It's not just something I can decide to do one day and assume that I'll just automatically be doing it from then on.
2. I am easily distracted and prone to wander. Christ should be my focus, but it is easy to get off track and to start walking, not by the Spirit, but by my own efforts. And then there is always the danger of legalism or licentiousness.
3. God loves me, and His love is amazing and overwhelming. Because I am in Christ Jesus, I am not in any sort of condemnation. I love my children whether or not they are obedient; even more so, God loves me no matter how I "perform" as a Christian. His acceptance of me is based on Christ alone, and it's all grace. Grace is amazing. It's scandalous. Real grace will always make legalists angry, because it is so...undeserved!
4. People aren't God. Their love is imperfect. They still condemn. They still judge. I may feel all free and accepted as a child of God --- but that does not mean that people will accept me. Instead, they will tend to see my many faults and quirks and will struggle mightily in trying to love me despite all that...and they will often find that task overwhelmingly daunting! (This sounds so obvious, but it was actually a huge blow to me when I was reveling in my new-found sense of acceptance to God only to discover that other people who loved me were not as accepting.)
5. Walking in freedom does involve stumbling. At least it did for me.
6. The Christian life was never meant to be "safe". Just re-read the book of Acts if you doubt this.
7. It's important to hold on to the essentials of the faith firmly and to hold everything else very loosely.
8. It's better not to have "pet doctrines". It's best not to be too loud and firm in my opinions about disputable matters, because then God will no doubt see fit to change my mind completely and publicly. While these sort of about-faces are probably good for my sanctification, and often good for a laugh, I've grown tired of them.
9. All the rules and standards and convictions and non-optional principles in the world won't help you when the rubber hits the road. They have nothing to offer when it comes to grief, death, tragedy, or suffering. Jesus never fails. When I can no longer hold on to Jesus, He holds on to me.
10. Fellowship with fellow Believers should be more about Christ than about whatever external stuff or theological nuance is important to me at the moment. When the Bible talks about "like-mindedness", it is not talking about clothing fashions, nap schedules for babies, being "Truly Reformed", what sort of job the husband has, what sort of job the wife has, where the children go to school, what music one listens to, what computer one uses, etc., etc. Like-mindedness involves being like-minded in Christ, not in fads, not in externals, not in extra-Biblical practices, not in standards, not in convictions. True Christianity is far more about Christ than it is about us.
One thing for sure: despite all the ups and downs, life has been a lot more of an adventure, a lot more exciting, and a lot more fun since my fall to grace!
”Real grace will always make legalists angry, because it is so...undeserved!”
ReplyDeleteMaybe that’s what causing my confusion. I’m still sorting through all the legalism and I can’t seem to find grace yet!
”It's important to hold on to the essentials of the faith firmly and to hold everything else very loosely.”
This statement stood out to me. I shall try to make this my motto in this walk. God gives me plenty of examples every day to work on. Today I got an advertisement for a great sale on NEST videos, but I have long had a “conviction” against animation, so I’ve never bought them or even let my children see them. I looked at that ad and thought, “Where in the world did I come up with a conviction like that? What does the Bible have to say about animation?” So, I bought the whole set.
I guess this is the end of your story. Thank you so much for telling it; I know you told it partially on my behalf. It really helped me think through some things and made me face the reality that I am a Pharisee. God is helping to turn me around now, though.
Maybe I shall tell my story someday, but I’m only halfway through living it right now. My story is very different from yours, yet I can really relate. Blessings to you, Rebecca, as you continue to walk in grace and love Jesus!
Oh. Um. I think I really needed to to read these today.
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful, Rebecca.
ReplyDeleteI read through your series this afternoon. It was an ache-y tramp down memory lane. My spiritual journey followed a similar trajectory except I wasn't raised Christian and didn't embrace the legalism quite so fervently--I looked down the road and saw I didn't have the energy to sustain that path. Women around me had many "convictions" that I knew I would never have the nerve to sustain, but I often worried that they were right, and that my uncovered head and jeans were not as pleasing to God. (And so on.)
The legalisms and "convictions" I did participate in kept me and my family safe and in God's favor and insured that my children would turn out--that is what I thought--and gave me standards by which to judge everyone around me, including, to my shame, our pastor and his family. Thanks to the purveyors of those legalisms and standards we grew to believe that our pastor and church were too worldly and loose. We started looking around for a place where people took things more seriously. I was looking for a church where at least some of the families homeschooled and the women wore dresses-only and had meek and quiet spirits.
I remember getting ready to take the plunge into greater legalism and God intervened in several ways, one of which was encountering Pastor Mike and his Law/Grace lessons.
That demolished my confidence in those standards and convictions for the purpose of pleasing God. I began to see the wonderfulness of Jesus and the grace of God. The merciless legalism I dipped my toe in was a "gift" that keeps on "giving," however, and I do find I have to keep sweeping my house clean of them--and apologizing to my now-grown children for the flavor of Christianity we introduced them to.
4. People aren't God. Their love is imperfect. They still condemn. They still judge. I may feel all free and accepted as a child of God --- but that does not mean that people will accept me. Instead, they will tend to see my many faults and quirks and will struggle mightily in trying to love me despite all that...and they will often find that task overwhelmingly daunting! (This sounds so obvious, but it was actually a huge blow to me when I was reveling in my new-found sense of acceptance to God only to discover that other people who loved me were not as accepting.)
ReplyDeleteThis entire series has so encouraged me but this reminder was very necessary. I somehow connected to you via true womanhood and I am so glad that God saw fit to bring me here! I am young and single, but I have already struggled mightly to communicate to those I love most what God's grace at work in me means. This has led to accusations of laziness, of an unwillingness to learn to be a disciplined person, and of selfishly expecting people around me to accept me carte blanche without taking responsibility for my weakness and sin.
The incredible greatness and awesomness of living under grace is not something easily understood, or easily embraced. It doesn't make my life easier on a surface level, although the deeper changes are infinitely preferable to a life lived on my own strength. I needed the reminder that grace is not something that I can convince people of, but is rather something the Holy Spirit must lead a person to understand and embrace.
Thank you again for your honesty and encouragement
"Like-mindedness involves being like-minded in Christ, not in fads, not in externals, not in extra-Biblical practices, not in standards, not in convictions. True Christianity is far more about Christ than it is about us."
ReplyDeleteI agree wholeheartedly. Thank you for sharing your experience.