Sunday, June 10, 2007


I used to be a staunch 5-pointer. Now I'm some kind of wishy-washy 3.75 pointer. But this, forwarded in an email, is so compelling that I'm rethinking my stance on Calvinism:


1. Calvinists tend to wear wool and cotton. Dispensationalists tend to wear lime-green polyester leisure suits.

2. John Calvin was French...being French is very chic.

3. Calvin sounds like Calvin Klein...and his clothes are very chic.

4. Calvinists can drink.

5. Calvinists can smoke.

6. Dispensationalists are into prophecy conferences where they talk about Star-Trek eschatology and the mark of the Beast. Calvinists have conferences on "life and culture", art, social justice and other high-brow things like that. Afterwards, we go to the local pub and talk about philosophy over a pint of Bass ale.

7. Calvinists have close ties with Scotland and Scotland is very cool: you know-Sean Connery, the movie Highlander, Bagpipes, the Loch Ness Monster, Glenlivet 18 year old Scotch, the movie Train Spotting, Brave Heart, etc.

8. Calvinists think we are smarter than anybody else.

9. It is more socially acceptable to say, "I go to Covenant Presbyterian Church" than to say, "I go to Washed In The Blood Worship Center", "I go to Sonlife Charismatic Believers Assembly", or to say "I go to Boston Berean Bible Believing Baptist Temple", or to say "I go to the Latter-Day-Rain Deliverance Tabernacle Prophecy Center, Inc.", or to say "I go to the Philadelphia Church of the Majority Text", or to say "I go to the Lithuanian Apostolic Orthodox Autocephalic Church of the Baltic Union of 1838".

10. Ultimately, I am a Calvinist because I had no choice in the matter.


  1. 10. Ultimately, I am a Calvinist because I had no choice in the matter.

    Spoken as a true Calvinist -- or would that be a hyper-Calvinist! Everything in life is predestined!

    I consider myself a 4-pointer. I can guess which full point you don't accept. I'm curious as to which .25 point you don't fall in line with.

  2. Part of the aftermath of my "fall to grace" was re-examining TULIP. I simply could not longer accept limited atonement.

    As for the .25 --- I meant that somewhat facetiously. I think, seriously, that my understanding of the perseverance of the saints may be a bit different. It may just be what I emphasize. I tend to give all the credit of any perseverance to God's sustaining grace. It's His grip on me, not mine on Him.

  3. "Spoken as a true Calvinist -- or would that be a hyper-Calvinist!"

    How is that hyper Calvinism? Seems like just plaing Calvinism to me...

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.