It is not an easy thing to find a new "church home". In fact, part of the process for me involves a certain amount of grieving over the realization that I will most likely never, this side of Heaven, be able to belong to a church where I feel truly at home.
One of the trade-offs of marriage and family, for me, means that I will not be joining a church that looks anything like the one above, nor will my soul be fed regularly by liturgical worship, nor will I receive the sacraments every Sunday the way I believe they should be received.
God, in His Providence, has put me on another path. I can speculate why, and I have several theories, but I'm not sure they are worth stating here. So, instead, I look forward to Heaven. Of course we all say that. But I have realized that my true church home will never be here, can never be here, and that I will not taste it until Heaven.
I am also beginning to suspect that God doesn't want me to be comfortable in church. I've not really been truly comfortable in church since I was a wee little thing, back when church was one of the most comfortable and comforting places I knew. But I am beginning to try to make some sort of peace with the idea that God is going to have our family end up in a place that is far outside my comfort zone, a place where I will be forced to give up my personal preferences in order that I might grow in obedience and maturity.
It's not about me. It's not about my church or my church home. It's about His Church, His Body, His Bride. What a privilege to be a part of that, even if it doesn't look or sound or taste the way I think it should.
For a bit of background on our church search, read Changes.