Friday, February 09, 2007

Double standards?

My posts on "purity balls" can be found here.

It seems that some of the same people behind the "purity balls" for fathers and daughters thought it would be a good thing to have "integrity balls" for mothers and sons. A cursory google search on "integrity balls" highlighted a few significant differences:
  • While fathers made pledges to guard their daughter's purity, mothers made no pledges whatsoever.
  • Daughters pledged to their fathers; sons pledged to God.
  • Daughters pledged to remain "sexually pure"; sons pledged about a vague "purity of lifestyle".
  • Daughters were encouraged to view their purity as a gift they would give their husbands; sons were encouraged not to damage the purity of another man's future wife or another man's daughter. (At the "integrity ball", girls were likened to used cars; no one wants one with too high mileage.)
  • Press coverage of "purity balls" showed lots of pictures of father-daughter "couples", who were encouraged to pose for prom-like pictures. Press coverage of "integrity balls" --- at least what I read --- only showed pictures of two male speakers and did not show a single picture of a mother or son attendee. No mention was made of pseudo-prom pictures.


  1. Rebecca, this is really excellent. I love how you contrasted the two events side by side. I think this is significant and I think it really shows a LOT about their theology.

    Why isn't the mother holding a key to her son's heart until such a time that the mother can present to his wife on their wedding day? I don't get the difference but I would LOVE to hear the explanation.

  2. Wow, just wow. Is it me, or is the whole thing, mother-son, father-daughter, whatever it is they are trying to accomplish giving other people this serious ICK feeling?


  3. Rebecca, ages ago I read online about a woman who grew up in Gothard-type community, and her observations of some of the unhealthy dynamics that resulted from the father/daughter emphasis. Do you know what article I'm talking about? I can't find it via google--maybe because I'm not sure which terms to search, not remembering enough of the details to do a good search.

  4. "Daughters pledged to their fathers; sons pledged to God."

    That just plain makes me angry! So, Daddy is the 'high priest'?